I Choose to Let Her Go
by MeredithBrody
Summary: James enjoys having Merri back in his life, but he knows she loves someone else, and he also knows that he's not what she needs. (Implied Prody, James/Brody)


**So, this is a thing I wrote with StephNCIS. Or, more specifically, she challenged me to write this while she wrote the Pride side called "Had To Let Her Go". So. It was inspired by the song "Let Her Go", I recommend listening to the Boyce Avenue version of this song, that's what I was listening to while I wrote. So. Enjoy. Please R&amp;R as always.  
Shin xx**

* * *

_**Well you see her when you fall asleep  
But never to touch, no never to keep  
'Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep**_

Watching Meredith, he knew that there was something different about her, or maybe he was different. Things hadn't changed too much, he still recognised her, and he could still pinpoint the things she did, and the things she'd love to do. He had memorised most of them 5 years ago, when they met, and they were still the same now.

God he loved her, he had since the moment they'd met. All their problems, why they were apart, that was all his fault. Yes it was the opportunity of the lifetime, and he had enjoyed what he'd done. He hadn't expected Merri to wait around for him while he was in Afghanistan. He had known when he left that she was still struggling with Emily's death, but he still had to take the job, and he knew that she would have done the same.

He'd hope, after they reconnected, that they would be able to pick things up again, but last night the name she'd said... it hadn't been his. Not that he was surprised, he had left, and he knew that she was still a little angry about that. Now though, he just wanted to know about this mysterious person Merri had called for in the night. "Who's King?"

"What?" She asked, and he just smiled at her, wanting her to know that he wasn't at all angry about what she'd said, or why she'd said it.

"Last night, you called for King." At the time he hadn't been exactly sure of what she'd said, but on reflection he knew now, and while he wanted to know, he wouldn't push her if she didn't want to say. "I have a lot of nicknames, that isn't one of them."

"I didn't, did I?" She clearly started running through last night in her mind. He hoped that she was going over the good bits, as he'd enjoyed himself a lot, and it had seemed like she'd been enjoying herself too. "Shit I did, James I'm so sorry." She apologised, and he just shook his head and took her hand.

"Like you said last night, you don't need to apologise." He truly believed that. Neither of them needed to say sorry about who they are, and who they wanted to be. She was who she was, and he was who he was. They weren't compatible, and really they never had been, no matter how hard they'd tried. "I just wanna know who he is, so I can congratulate him."

"We're not together." She seemed to feel like that was important. Right now though, it really wasn't. Merri was clearly trying to figure out what was going on, and why she had had to think about all of this. He didn't blame her, he'd never been in her situation but he could imagine it. "It's extremely complicated."

He just looked at her before putting a hand on her cheek. There was only one thing here that truly mattered, was Merri happy, and did she love him. "MB, do you love him?" If she did, then that was where she needed to go, and was what she needed to do.

"Yeah, I do. I have since I got here." He was surprised, Merri didn't normally fall for anyone, she wasn't that woman. She'd never been that woman.

"Then you should speak to him, at least." He would encourage her to do that, talk to whoever this King was. There was absolutely nothing that he could do for her, and nothing he could do to keep her with him. "I can't stay here for you, I would if I could, but I can't. It's not the nature of my work."

"I know, you were always like that." That was a fair observation, he had always been like that, he wasn't the only one. She had put a lot aside for her job, he had move with her when she'd got a new assignment. So he didn't feel awful about what he'd done in general. "So was I, we're both married to our jobs."

"I love you, I always have, but if there is someone in your life who can do everything you deserve then you need to take hold of that." He was absolutely certain that this would be something good for her. Something that she truly deserved. Merri deserved to be treated like a princess every day, and he couldn't do that on a different continent, even though he desperately wanted to.

She looked at him and sighed, then sat forward and rested he forehead on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, hoping that she would be able to decide. He already knew that he wasn't going to win, and he wasn't sure he wanted to anyway."I love you too. This is so hard."

"No, MB, it isn't. I will always love you, you'll always live in a corner of my heart." He had known that all along. There was someone local, and someone nearby, who she should really think about more seriously. "But there is someone here who you love. Go for him."

"Thanks." She said honestly, and he was glad to know that she was honestly thankful about the fact he was good at.

"I should go." He knew that leaving was gonna push her to do the right thing, which was talk to this King and start moving on to a life after him. "I'll call you when I get to Dubai."

"See you again, James." Merri nodded, clearly understanding what he meant. He would call her, because he wanted to know what she'd do. This was their lives and their choices, and right now the choice was that he leave her to the man who must have stolen her heart. He was happy to know that she could be happy.

"Hopefully I get a wedding invite." He smiled and kissed her, memorising everything about that moment, then grabbed his bag and walked away. He'd never wanted to do this, never wanted to have to give her up. The truth was that he wasn't anything like what she needed. Whoever King was, he hoped that they were happy, and that he knew how lucky he was. James had loved Meredith for years, and the proof of that was that he was willing to let her go.

**Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go**


End file.
